Put Some Gay In Your Day!

The 701 Club

Sister Helen Holy of the First Southern Fried, Self-Satisfied Baptist Church, the arbiter of all that is moral and chaste, shares her perspective on current events. When not ministering to heathens at events on dry land nationwide, she can frequently be found taking her ministry to the high seas on RSVP Cruises, where she spends most of the week on her knees “in prayer.” Why 701? Well, because she’s just a little bit better than that other Christian newscast.

Remember, Recoil & Rest

It’s time for this week’s reflection. Remember. Let us reflect upon the loss of the 41st President of our country. After the leadership we have experienced the last two years, it […]

Parade, Perverse, Patrol

Giving thanks and crying for help. Parade.  I pray that all of you experienced a season of thanks with family and friends last week.  I also pray that you are […]

Females, Firings & Physicians

The elections are over.  Let’s review and move on. Females.  I am praising the Lord for the blessing that the end of these midterm elections has brought.  No more political […]

Privies, Prayers & Probes

It’s been a trying week.  Let us gather in prayer. Privies.  Here’s an item of interest.  Brother Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft and bazillionaire, has begun an initiative which was […]

Prayer, Preposterous & Pagan

It’s been a trying week.  Let us gather in prayer. Prayer.  Now, more than ever, people of all faiths need to come together at one altar to pray for this […]

Trash, Treachery & Travelers

I have turned my gaze abroad for this week’s ministry. Join me at the throne of grace. Trash. Oftentimes, my mission trips require me to travel by air. As a woman […]

Squaws, Storks & Signs

We have a broad spectrum of concerns this week.  Join me on your knees, won’t you? Squaws.  Not having Sister Hillary Clinton around has left a void in the liberal […]

Gaga, Gavel & Garrett

Another week, another roster of filth. Gaga. I’ve long been aware of the royalty titles among our heathen celebrities. Dame Judi Dench, Queen Latifah, Prince, Sir Elton John, Duke Ellington to […]

Moron, Murphy & Marriage

I’m tired of politics and needed to turn my ministry to something more vapid. Kanye.  I’d like to say something in Christian love to Brother Kanye West, or as he […]

Scripted, Scripture & Scribes

Politics and religion come together in a storm of biblical proportion this week. Scripted. Yesterday, our President, Notorious D.J.T., spoke eloquently before the general assembly of the United Nations. I say […]