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Browsing: The 701 Club

Sister Helen Holy of the First Southern Fried, Self-Satisfied Baptist Church, the arbiter of all that is moral and chaste, shares her perspective on current events. When not ministering to heathens at events on dry land nationwide, she can frequently be found taking her ministry to the high seas on RSVP Cruises, where she spends most of the week on her knees “in prayer.” Why 701? Well, because she’s just a little bit better than that other Christian newscast.

The 701 Club
The 701 Club: Designers, Declarers & Deviants

I am on FIRE this week. Handle with care. Designers: Lord help us! Hollyweird awards season is upon us. Famous women pushing the envelope of good taste with gravity defying dress disasters, famous men thinking that a tux will excuse bad grooming, and all of them trying to look like they’re…

The 701 Club
The 701 Club: Grief, Goals & Glitter

Look behind, look ahead, look to prayer. Look at this. Grief: I exhort you all to remember in prayer the lives of Sister Debbie Reynolds and her daughter, Carrie Fisher.  I had the privilege of working in ministry with both of these Sister-in-Christ. While my experience with Sister Carrie was a…

The 701 Club
Wham, Bam, Thank you, Ma’am.

Let us pray that this year of unpredictability and grief comes to a close soon.  For now, however, we’ve still got to pray over these latest plagues. Wham!  2016 has come like a thief in the night to claim yet another celebrity. Famed sodomite, George Michael, left this early life…

The 701 Club
The 701 Club: Gulag, Gas & Gabor

The world is spinning out of control, with Russia and Hungary making the news. Heed these thoughts. Gulag: If Russia technoviks did indeed hack into our election process, then the love affair between Donnie and Vladimir appears to intensifying. And if THAT is the case, I’m not having new stationery printed…

The 701 Club
The 701 Club: Fraud, F****t & Finger

Why must I have to rebuke during this joyous season?  Read on and understand. Fraud: A “preacher” in Amarillo, Texas recently staked out a spot near Santa Claus at a local mall where he proceeded to heckle parents and children alike for their belief in the bearded fat man. The…

The 701 Club
The 701 Club: Idiots, Indians & Incumbents

I have been on my knees this week until they are FLAT! Let us ponder these things for which I’ve been in supplication. Idiots: In the ongoing saga of cabinet appointments from the Gilded Egg, the new Secretary of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) is Brother Ben Carson. Allegedly, The…

The 701 Club
The 701 Club: Starts With An F

I take a week off from this column, and people drop like flies. Let us pause for remembrance. Florence: The sudden passing on Thanksgiving evening of TV’s Everymom was a cause for great consternation. Sister Florence Henderson, aka “Carol Brady,” joined her TV husband and housekeeper at the great split-level in…

The 701 Club
The 701 Club: ABCs Of A New World

It may not be the New Jerusalem, but it is certainly a New America. Let us reflect. America: At last, the voters have spoken. (Actually, the electoral college has spoken, and I’ve never met ANYONE who went to that school, but I digress.) America is the land of the free(ish)…

The 701 Club
The 701 Club: Billy, Baylor & Burial

Turn your hearts and minds away from all things political and let us focus on these Christian thoughts. Billy: God keeps the faithful alive. Our precious evangelical leader, Billy Graham, turned 98 years old this week. Glory! Of course, he’s nowhere near Methuselah’s 980 years, but Brother Billy is an…

The 701 Club
The 701 Club: Scary, Sacred & Sick

As we begin a new month, let us redouble our efforts in prayer for these worldly issues. Scary: That filthy holiday has once again come and gone. Halloween. Where adults encourage their children to dress up as scary creatures and go door-to-door soliciting handouts of candy. Clearly a Democrat creation.…

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