Put Some Gay In Your Day!

The 701 Club

Sister Helen Holy of the First Southern Fried, Self-Satisfied Baptist Church, the arbiter of all that is moral and chaste, shares her perspective on current events. When not ministering to heathens at events on dry land nationwide, she can frequently be found taking her ministry to the high seas on RSVP Cruises, where she spends most of the week on her knees “in prayer.” Why 701? Well, because she’s just a little bit better than that other Christian newscast.

Crazy Christian Carnality

I have some very simple statements this week.  Be ye touched. Crazy.  Here’s an intriguing headline.  “Kellyanne Conway’s husband is trying to tell the public Trump is mentally ill.  She […]

Scribbling, Shopping & Selfie-ing

I’m a little cranky this week since I lost an hour of sleep on Saturday. Scribbling.  I simply must comment on a story of biblical importance.  While visiting tornado victims […]

Conservatives, Cohen & Conference

A couple of doses of politics and a big swig of religion. Conservatives.  As an upstanding Christian woman, I have a keen interest in the annual Conservative Political Action Conference.  […]

Tasteless, Taken & Tongues

Time to review televisions annual biggest display of degradation. Tasteless. Once again, the mother of all awards shows has come and gone and left a tasteless film of filth (filth of […]

Fans, Farts & Farce

We need some silliness this week. Fans.  I have long been familiar with the various types of themed charters of ships on the high seas. Nudist charters (not enough Purell in […]

Suffering, Suffragettes, & Suffice

My heart is heavy this week. Suffering.  I am never remiss in my condemnation of Hollyweird awards shows.  However, after the portion of the Grammys which I suffered through Sunday […]

Bowl, Body & Burger

I have dedicated my prayer life this week to Sunday’s football extravaganza. Bowl.  Lord, forgive the hatred in my heart, but I have very strong feelings about the New England […]

Gowns, Gays & Guts

It’s a slow news week, but I’m never at a loss for commentary! Gowns.  Another round of Hollywood self-indulgence has left its mess on the boob tube.  Last Sunday’s SAG […]

Bowls, Balls & Butts

I’m exhausted this week from prayer over these stories.  Let us reflect. Bowls.  I don’t really care much for football, nor do I stay abreast of the ins and outs […]

Tribute, Truckload & Traffic

We start with praise and end with condemnation.  Tribute. Let us turn our thoughts to Glory where there is surely a grand staircase today descending to the Pearly Gates, as Sister […]