"What's your damage, Heather?" Odds are if you're anything like us, it's the need for a vacay from your summer vacation, now finding an end. An end that includes a body bombed (like Westerberg High, for you "Heathers" fans out there) from over-zealous social climbing and grand (keg-)standing. Where to escape without the help of a cupful of liquid drainer? We suggest the Parker Palm Springs, an earthly heaven fit for the Heather in all of us. In continuing our homage to the far superior elder sibling of "Mean Girls," we suggest you do like Winona and steal away for one more sesh of complete R&R -- as in Rehab and Reasonably-so (no need to go full on Lindsay, unless of course you keep wearing leggings as pants -- then, find help immediately).

Like "Heathers," the Parker Palm Springs provides youthful camp, with grounds manicured into a park, more appropriate for adults. Ambling around the 13-acre resort, you'll find saltwater pools, multiple walking paths, a fire pit, a hammock, and endless Facebook photo opps provided by pure green grass for you to lie on. For us, the best part is the croquet lawn, Heather! If, after whacking around a few balls with your wicket, you are inclined to play Veronica and strip, take your kink for kitsch indoors to the Jonathan Adler- bedecked boudoirs. The comfortably chic accommodations, designed in cream with splashes of red, come complete with Hermes bar soap, Molton Brown body wash and Penhaligon's shampoo -- toiletries fit for the most fickle of mineral water-loving men.

Speaking of beverages, we highly recommend the Shandy, the hotel's signature take on a British classic (here, a mix of Hefeweizen with fresh-squeezed lemonade -- like we said, rehab within reason). This refresher can be found in the Parker's three dining locales (the casual Lemonade Stand, brunchy Norma's or swanky Mister Parker's) or by efficient poolside drink service. But wherever you find yourself sipping away stress, don't forget you can also relax at the on-site spa, the Palm Springs Yacht Club. Why a "yacht club" in the middle of the desert, you ask? Honestly, we were too busy enjoying our stay to question. But we can most assuredly now answer, "what's your damage?" After a weekend at the Parker Palm Springs - absolutely nothing.
The Parker Palm Springs
4200 East Palm Canyon Drive
Palm Springs, CA 92264

760-770-5000
www.theparkerpalmsprings.com