Stick a fork in Chelsea, boys - these days it's all about Midtown West a.k.a., if you're not a real estate broker, Hell's Kitchen (don't even think about calling it Clinton). Over the past 5 years or so, H.K. has gone from a developer's nightmare to a primo location thanks mostly to the influx of gays young and old who were priced out of Chelsea when their buildings all went co-op.

And with the gays, naturally, come gay bars. The neighborhood has come a long way since the only options were the 9th Avenue Saloon or the 9th Avenue Bistro (R.I.P.), and the plethora of homo friendly watering holes can be somewhat overwhelming. So in the ever-changing world of gay nightlife, here's a little guide, courtesy of HeSaid, to getting your drink on west of 8th Avenue:

THE HOLY TRINITY:

Therapy - 348 W. 52nd Street, btw 8th and 9th Aves.

The opening of Therapy all those years ago was the really the first sign that the neighborhood was more than "up and coming." When Vlada opened (see below) its stock fell a bit, but these days it's back on the rise. Still the classiest joint on the block, it boasts rich, dark woods (love those tables), a sexy staff, killer drinks, and healthy mix of chorus boys and guppies (that's gay yuppies, if you're not familiar). Weekends are the safest bet - particularly Saturday. The drag shows and karaoke nights during the week are for the most part pretty tragic.

Vlada - 331 W. 51st Street, btw. 8th and 9th Aves.

The arrival of Vlada brought a sleek Russian sensibility (and a whole lotta flavored vodka shots) to HK, and for a while it seemed like Therapy was a distant memory. But lately it's been looking a little worse for the wear. The crowds aren't as thick (or hot), the drinks started arriving in plastic cups (always a bad sign) and what is up with that upstairs bar? One week open, one week closed - get it together guys. These days it seems a better choice for a happy hour than the jump off for a fun night out.

Posh - 405 W. 51st Street, btw. 9th and 10th Aves.

Posh is where your night ends. Don't ever bother going before 1 or 2 on a weekend or before midnight on a weekday, but Posh is perfect for that last (cheap) drink and dance before you call it a night. They're always playing what you want to hear, there's invariably a dance-off or two, and I guarantee that guy eyeing you at Therapy looks a lot cuter here. Whether that's true in the morning you'll have to decide for yourself...

THE UNDERDOGS:

The Ritz - 369 W. 46th Street, btw. 8th and 9th Aves.

The Ritz started off as a bit of disaster with traffic flow problems, an understaffed bar, and a tragically empty décor. But it has seriously cleaned up its act, mostly by realizing that it was meant to be a sweaty dancebox rather than a chic lounge. The back room is really the only place in the neighborhood to shake your thing, so it always draws quite a crowd - usually one a bit on the younger side. Don't miss their Wednesday night Rewind Party where you'll hear everything from En Vogue to Devo, and it's just crowded enough to be fun without making it hard to get the bartender's attention.

Barrage - 407 W. 47th Street, btw. 9th and 10th Aves.

Barrage has tried hard to distinguish itself from its gay bar brothers, but somehow it manages to emerge without much distinction. It's signage and garage-esque décor would have you believe it's going for a grungy, trashy feel, but it's reality is pretty tame. Not a bad place to stop for a drink - prices are cheap and it's not usually too crowded, but perhaps that's because there's really not much to say about it.

9th Avenue Saloon - 656 9th Avenue btw. 45th and 46th Streets

Formerly known as Cleo's, this dive was one of the only spots on the west side of midtown for discerning gentlemen back in the days when 53rd and 3rd was the epicenter of gay New York (know your gay history people!). It's still alive and kickin' and still a good place to go if you just want cheap beer and colorful locals. A "scene" it certainly is not. Wednesday night karaoke is one of their more popular nights, but normally you'll just find a sprinkling of older locals and gay dive bar types (if that's not an oxymoron) holding up the bar.