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Scribbling, Shopping & Selfie-ing

I’m a little cranky this week since I lost an hour of sleep on Saturday.

Scribbling.  I simply must comment on a story of biblical importance.  While visiting tornado victims in Alabama, our POTUS was photographed autographing Bibles for the teeming masses.  While I can assure you that DT had no part in authoring the book, it all seemed rather sacrilegious.  And then I heard that it was the people in attendance who offered up their scripture books for desecration in lieu of any other place to get a Trump John Hancock.  In a turn from decorum, I’d like to give special recognition to the slut who offered up her left breast for the President’s scribbling.  Clearly, that is a space which little Donny has perused far more than the Good Book.

Shopping.  I have just heard that luxury retailer, Neiman-Marcus (Needless Markup) is opening their first store in New York City.  Some find this to be a bold move in light of all the other luxury retailers already established in the Big Apple.  However, I hold to this theory……with all the filthy rich trash living in New York, I would say that this retail news is equivalent to the opening of a Dollar General in Yazoo City.

Selfie-ing.  Turing to news of human failure, a woman visiting a zoo in Arizona was attempting to get a good selfie with a black jaguar.  Feeling that getting her arm into the enclosure would ensure a photo remiss of any caging bars, this aforementioned woman’s actions was highly irritating to said jaguar.  The big cat, being a female, uttered the feline equivalent of “oh HELL no” and took a clawed swipe at the selfie loving woman’s arm.  I find it interesting that the zoo’s statement regarding the injury was that “at the request of the family, paramedics were called.”  Apparently, the zoo wanted to let her rummage through her bag for a Band-Aid.  In closing, I’d like to offer prayerful advice to this woman.  Next time you want a selfie with a Jaguar, I suggest visiting a dealership.

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