Put Some Gay In Your Day!

Resolutions, Records & Repulsive

The New Year is off to a disgusting start. Now, more than ever, we need to be on our knees!

Resolutions. We have survived another year and, more importantly, another New Year’s Eve. The night when all hell seems to break loose, and thousands of seemingly moral people lose all control of sobriety. After which, in an attitude of false repentance, many make firm resolutions to change their lives in the coming year. Bull Dookey! I resolve EVERY DAY to be a better Christian than the rest of you, so don’t even try to one up me at this time of year. And for those of you resolving to lose weight, I’m carrying scales in my purse at all times. So there.

Records. Every new year brings the image of a baby with the upcoming year branded on a sash. I am praying that 2019’s baby will not be anything like the record-breaking baby born in Arlington, Texas, on December 12. According to news reports, Sister Jennifer Medlock gave birth to a 14lb, 13oz baby. That’s nearly 15 pounds, Brothers and Sisters. I daresay that if Mary had given birth to a child that large in Bethlehem, even the cattle would have winced. Now, you KNOW I’d rather eat nails than to criticize, but………upon seeing the proud parents of this baby, I have come to realize that there are creatures on this earth who indeed eat everything BUT their young. Praise!

Repulsive. Finally, those of us who chose to stay home on New Year’s Eve were left with whatever we could find on TV. Cue the annual CNN Times Square fiasco which had to be commentated by not one, but TWO, sodomites. And one was a Jew! Lord help us. It was bad enough that we’ve had to endure the filth of Kathy Griffin making Anderson Cooper giggle like a schoolgirl in the past. But now, without Miss “I-Have-No-Career-And-No-One-Is-Hiring-Me-Even-Though-I’ve-Made-A-Career-Out-of-Demeaning-Other-People’s-Careers,” little Anderson brought in his sandbox playmate, Andy Cohen, so that the two of them could parade their homosexuality on national TV. Filthy. It would seem that things can only go up from here, Brothers and Sisters. But, lest we forget, no one new moved into 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue over the holidays, so we still have THAT to pray about.

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