Am I Alone?


It isn’t just me, is it? Please tell me I’m not all alone out here. Because if you think your eyes and ears might be lying to you, then we’re in the same boat. In the past few days, here’s just a sample of some things I think I’ve observed.

First off, there’s the motorcycle rider who flipped off the Mercedes SUV. On his motorcycle going at least 30 miles per hour. I think the SUV had encroached on the motorcycle’s center lane while driving down a piece of Fitzhugh in Dallas, notorious for its potholes in the right hand lane. My natural sympathy is with the motorcycle; on the other hand, you’re on a motorcycle. If the said Mercedes SUV had moved a foot more into the center lane, the motorcycle would have had to correct by moving into my lane. Meaning I would have hit him in mid-flip off. Then, he’s dead, and I’m facing some kind of manslaughter charge. Decidedly not fair.

The next day, there was the bicyclist, on his cell phone, riding down the middle of my lane. Honestly, it’s kind of stupid to drive down any major street in Dallas while talking on one’s cell phone, even if you have a full blown car protecting you. (Or threatening everyone else, for that matter.) But, you’re on a bicycle? Really, do you just want to die? Do I have to risk two separate charges for manslaughter in a 24 hour period?

And, then did I really hear the POTUS saying that the easiest way to move forward on health care reform is to let Obamacare fail so that the Democrats will be forced to come to the Republicans to seek a solution? Easier for whom? I might be held accountable for the aforementioned motorcyclist and the bicyclist, but does Donald Trump really want to be responsible for the “easier” path associated with the loss of access to health care by all those affected people? Better yet, will Donald Trump ever take responsibility for anything?

How about that really strange exchange with the French First Lady, Brigitte Macron, where he told her that “you’re in such good shape”? Did he really turn to her husband, the French President, and say “She’s in such good physical shape. Beautiful”? And why didn’t Mrs. Macron say “Don’t talk about me like I’m not here”? Instead, she just took Melanie Trump’s elbow and kind of stepped behind her, I assume to avoid one of those grabbing episodes Trump so famously boasted about to Billy Bush.

And speaking of Mrs. Macron, am I the only person on the planet who didn’t know that she is 25 years older than her husband and that their relationship started when she was his 39-year old teacher? After you do the math, you will understand why I have nothing further to say about this one.

Now, when it comes to the things that I can hardly believe I’m seeing or hearing, I must admit I culled the list down to a handful that might cause you to chuckle and shake your head. Because the ones that didn’t make the list won’t make you chuckle—they’ll just make you shake your head. I don’t think I need to catalog them. Surely, you already know what they are.

So, if you will just nod your head to let me know I’m not all alone out here, I promise to never call you Shirley again.



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Well, Let Me Say This About That is an interesting twist on current events, as told by Dallas' finest and funniest Craig McCartney.

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