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Coulter, Caitlyn & Charismatics

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I am on fire for the Lord this week. Join me on this journey of Christian admonition.

Coulter. Let us gather in prayer for Sister Ann Coulter. This woman has tirelessly worked for conservative causes in this land. How awful, then, the treatment she received recently at the hands of Delta Airlines. Sister Ann had spent her meager earnings on a $30 upgrade which would guarantee her an exit row seat with extra leg room for her shapely hooves. How egregious then was the fact that Delta gave her seat away to a less deserving cow. Let us note that Sister Coulter still retained an exit row seat, but I digress. I’d like to make a couple of points here. First of all, Ann Coulter in COACH? Secondly, poor Ann tweeted that Delta “snatched my ticket out of my hand.” I believe that the real story is that Delta “handed her snatch a ticket.” Hallelujah!

Caitlyn. In another coup for God’s Own Party, Sister/Brother Caitlyn Jenner has expressed interest in running as a Republican for Senate in the State of California. Let us remember that the hotbed of Republican fervor in California is concentrated in the County of Orange. Home to the Trinity Broadcasting Network and its assorted manufactured charlatans. Also home to Disneyland. Thus making Caitlyn’s proposed political aspirations just another case of something Fake in Fantasyland. Amen?

Charismatics. Much like Joshua and the Battle of Jericho, the wall between church and state has come a’tumblin’ down! Faith leaders of primarily conservative and charismatic churches gathered in the Oval Office recently to meet with and pray with Donald Trump. Not only prayers, but a biblical laying on of hands. While I have no particular beef with this practice, as many previous Presidents have sought religious counsel, those were of a more interfaith ilk. No, Brothers and Sisters, this recent Presidential Prayer Posse left those in attendance marveling at Trump’s “recognizing his need for God.” Dare I say that Trump merely recognized his need for “God’s People” who, as of late, have wandered off the Emmaus Road and way over onto the opposite side of the street on the way to Samaria. (Look it up, Heathens!) In an attitude of cleansing faith, I must now return to my REAL ministry of touching as many as I can. Praise!

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Sister Helen Holy of the First Southern Fried, Self-Satisfied Baptist Church is the arbiter of all that’s good and Christian in this world. When not ministering to heathens at events on dry land nationwide, she can frequently be found taking her ministry to the high seas on RSVP Cruises, where she spends most of the week on her knees “in prayer.” Be sure to follow Sister Helen Holy on Facebook at www.facebook.com/helen.holy.

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