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Incite, Ignite & Interpret

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Draw near all ye who are heavy laden in these times and share in these biblical interpretations amid our world issues.

Incite. Brothers and Sisters, oft times when biblically historical events are re-enacted in present day, the result is seriously misunderstood. If a baby was born in a filthy barn, Child Protective Services would be called. An ark was rebuilt in Kentucky and the builders went bankrupt. Tying someone to a cross is considered sexually deviant. So it was then when Sister Kathy Griffin channeled Salome with the head of John the Baptist by posing with a mock-up of the severed head of Donald Trump. Such outrage incited across the lands! I, personally, took issue with Sister Griffin’s artistic license as well. After all, Salome presented the head of John the Baptist to her mother on a platter. Perhaps if, rather than holding the head aloft, Sister Kathy had placed it on a plate for presentation to her mother Maggie, artistic intent would have been maintained and uproar abated. As it was, the idea of Kathy Griffin giving head to the public was just filthy. Amen?

Ignite. Clearly, it is so difficult to be considered funny these days. In an attempt to make a joke, liberal hot air balloon, Bill Maher, ignited a storm of controversy by using a distasteful 6-letter word starting with “N” on his program last week. One could feel the global gasp at this utterance. And I fully understand. So let me respond with some 6 letter “N” words of my own. That filthy libtard needs to have his Noggin examined before uttering any further Nuggets of filth causing this country to become a Nation of whiners and Naggers. Amen!

Interpret. Let us turn our attention to some New Testament scripture in dealing with a current issue. 1 Corinthians 14:27-28 instructs us on dealing with the gift of tongues bestowed upon some during an indwelling of the Holy Spirit. I quote, “If any speak in a tongue, let there be only two or at most three, and each in turn, and let someone interpret. But if there is no one to interpret, let each of them keep silent in church and speak to himself and to God.” To paraphrase, “Without an interpretation, shut up.” And let this apply to ALL modes of communication to the people. Therefore, in biblical and prayerful love, I exhort President Trump to avoid his moments of Spiritual Tweets unless interpretation is provided. I mean, is “covfefe” an exhortation or condemnation? Let us pray.

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About Author

Sister Helen Holy of the First Southern Fried, Self-Satisfied Baptist Church is the arbiter of all that’s good and Christian in this world. When not ministering to heathens at events on dry land nationwide, she can frequently be found taking her ministry to the high seas on RSVP Cruises, where she spends most of the week on her knees “in prayer.” Be sure to follow Sister Helen Holy on Facebook at www.facebook.com/helen.holy.

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