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3, 10 & 100

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I was going to begin with a scripture from the Old Testament book of Numbers. But let’s just get to this week’s numbers, shall we?

3. The latest news for the world of television is that the program originally known as Regis & Kathie Lee has morphed once again. First, Sister Kathie Lee wafted into her current job as a wino disguised as a morning show hostess. (Some Baptist SHE turned out to be!) Then the elderly Regis was propped up by another bimbo named Kelly Ripoff. Finally, Regis was put to pasture and co-hosts for Kelly blew in and out like customers in a whorehouse. NOW I find out that one of the most questionable characters in Hollyweird is being brought in to stool next to Ms. Ripoff. Little Ryan Seacrest. Questionable, you ask? If that boy’s not as queer as a $3 bill, I will eat each of my tastefully crafted hats. Alas, Sister Kelly can rest assured that she will be at no risk of harassment from this one, regardless of whether they get a spot on Fox News or not. Be healed!

10. I have found the Faceplace to be a great tool for my ministry. (For those of you not in the know, you can find me there as “Helen Holy”.) However, the latest annoying trend online is wearing me out. “10 concerts I’ve been to. One is a lie” First of all, who cares? Secondly, why should I waste my time guessing which of these heathen bacchanals is proof that you can commit the sin of lying? Thirdly, I have YET to see anyone list a concert of a Christian nature. And finally, let me repeat, WHO CARES? Can’t we get back to beating each other up over politics and sharing worthless recipes with a bunch of people who’ve never darkened the threshold of a kitchen? Logging off.

100. 100 days. ONE HUNDRED DAYS! Isn’t he ever going home? Let us pray.

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About Author

Sister Helen Holy of the First Southern Fried, Self-Satisfied Baptist Church is the arbiter of all that’s good and Christian in this world. When not ministering to heathens at events on dry land nationwide, she can frequently be found taking her ministry to the high seas on RSVP Cruises, where she spends most of the week on her knees “in prayer.” Be sure to follow Sister Helen Holy on Facebook at www.facebook.com/helen.holy.

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