Pastels, Passengers & Peace


In this post-resurrection time, let us join our hearts in prayer over these thoughts.

Pastels. He is Risen! I am renewed and rejuvenated after celebrating the resurrection of our Lord and Savior this past Sunday. I saw so few familiar faces at church, as the pews were filled with the C&E Christians who only attend twice a year. Moreover, this is also the Sunday when fashions turn to more colorful hues and enough white shoes to fill a Pat Boone convention. But here are the real issues of Christian discourse. When did this Holy Celebration turn from death and resurrection to one of eggs and bunnies? When did bunnies ever lay eggs? And why are they hiding them anyway? Did Jesus wear pastel when he sashayed out of the tomb? And HATS! He is Risen INDEED!

Passengers. Lately, I have felt the need to refer to our great country as America, and not the United States. It has nothing to do with whether we as a nation are living all as one, but rather that merely speaking the word UNITED sends a wave of unpleasantness across the land. Praise the Lord that I rarely have to fly to any Denver or San Francisco ministries which might require me to subject myself to the abuse of the Not-So-Friendly Skies. However, in light of these recent troubles, I am lobbying United CEO, Oscar Munoz (Mexican), to acquire Air Force One for a period of approximately four years. Now THAT is a hostile takeover I can support. Wheels up!

Peace. We need to pray for peace in our world. Between little Donny Trump and precious Kim Jong-Un, the sandbox is getting to be a tense playground. I suggest we send both children on a solo Disney cruise to the middle of the Pacific during nuclear warhead submarine races. I never advocate such immoral desecration, but these are trying times, and we need to try anything. Peace out!



About Author

Sister Helen Holy of the First Southern Fried, Self-Satisfied Baptist Church is the arbiter of all that’s good and Christian in this world. When not ministering to heathens at events on dry land nationwide, she can frequently be found taking her ministry to the high seas on RSVP Cruises, where she spends most of the week on her knees “in prayer.” Be sure to follow Sister Helen Holy on Facebook at www.facebook.com/helen.holy.

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