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You’re The Top (Of My Feed)

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I found out something this week I didn’t know, and it wasn’t something I had known but just forgotten—which happens with more frequency these days. (Please don’t show this admission to my husband—he needs to think he’s the forgetful one.)

But what I hadn’t forgotten was reading a book called Bette and Joan: The Divine Feud when it was first published in 1989 and thinking then it should be a movie. Now that basic story is going to be what we used to call a mini-series, and nearly 30 years of waiting will finally be over.

But back to my learning experience.

On Facebook, one of those links came up asking me to like the new Feud: Bette and Joan page, which I did and found out that you can direct Facebook to put new posts from that page at the top of your news feed.

Who knew?

You probably did, but I’m still trying to figure out the difference between friending, following, unfriending and unfollowing. So forgive me, but Bette and Joan just went to the top of my list as I need something wonderful and somewhat campy before I get to the rest of the feed.

In the last year, I managed to get through the primaries, the general election, the lead up to the inauguration and the first month of the new Republican administration without unfriending or unfollowing anyone. (Did I get that right?) As a result, my feed looks like my house—crammed full of competing objects all screaming “Look at me!” And while some posts are thoughtful, some are not. And that’s true of what comes from both sides of the partisan divide.

But shouldn’t all of us have more of a say in what tops our feeds? Can’t technology be used to show me what I want to see and not just what somebody else has paid for me to see? Shouldn’t technology ask the question “What does Craig want to see?” rather than just “What is Craig likely to buy?”

So, Mr. Zuckerberg, with this in mind, here’s what I want to see at the top of my feed:

  1. Any picture or videos of puppies, particularly if they are playing with other puppies. We all need puppies in our lives.
  2. Any picture or videos of grandchildren, particularly if they are playing with other grandchildren. Not because we all need grandchildren in our lives, I just like seeing your grandchildren’s pictures.
  3. Any picture or videos of Kellyanne Conway, because seeing her justifies in my mind the money I have spent on Estee Lauder firming products over the years. If it’s a video, be sure the sound is off because I may not want to hear her.

It would also be helpful if you didn’t show me any pictures or videos of food after 8:00 p.m., particularly of food prepared in my own kitchen. (It’s just wrong to find out at midnight that the boys made homemade meat lover’s pizza, and said pizza is 30 feet away.)

It’s not that I want to block anything (other than food stuff at a time when I shouldn’t be eating). I’m willing to watch or read anything from Mother Jones to Alex Jones, but I want to be able to click once on refresh and go back to the puppies.

Is that so much to ask? In these troubled times?

OK, got to go…there’s a new Feud teaser I have to watch.

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Well, Let Me Say This About That is an interesting twist on current events, as told by Dallas' finest and funniest Craig McCartney.

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