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My Name Is Craig and I’m A (Political) Junkie

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craig-headshotWhile Americans may no longer depend on print journalism to be well-informed, they don’t depend on CNN, MSNBC, or Fox either. Because, let’s face it, those of us who haunt those networks aren’t looking for the news of the day. We’re junkies. And our dealers (Wolf Blitzer, Rachel Maddow, Megyn Kelly, et al.) have been cutting our drugs with baby powder.

The pundits and prognosticators have told us for months that Donald Trump would not and could not be the Republican party nominee for president. Party leaders told us he should not be the nominee. We were teased with the political unicorn of a contested convention, promised a primary season ending in deadlock and a multiple ballot convention floor battle where anything could happen.

And guess what? The results of the Indiana primary came in, Cruz and Kasich dropped out, and we got the political equivalent of Pamela Ewing waking up and finding Bobby in the shower. It was all a dream. Well, that’s just not good enough.

Because here’s the real deal. Suppose Jeb Bush had taken an early lead in the polls, sustained it into the primary voting, and gotten a plurality of the bound delegates. He would have been the acknowledged front runner moving steadily toward winning the nomination. But Jebbie didn’t do that; Trump did. So here comes the baby powder. Not content with having the most unconventional front runner (for so many reasons) in modern politics, the networks promoted a narrative of a “stop Trump” movement and a political civil war which collapsed this week under the weight of reality. Because reality, as a stand alone noun, still trumps “reality” as applied to the noun “television.”

And they’re still running a narrative on the Democratic side. They’re saying Secretary Clinton is now involved in a two front battle—one with Senator Sanders and one with Mr. Trump. We’re still being told that Sanders has a narrow path to the Democratic nomination. Yeah, right. You can keep what you’re selling and all the talcum you put in it. It’s just not worth the nose bleed.

Oh, and one last message for the dealers. The general election is going to be plenty spicy, and the debates are going to be delicious. Trump said that Hillary is playing the woman card, and she raised $2.4 million for her campaign in three days, partly by selling a woman’s card on her website. Genius. It’s going to be the Battle of the Sexes, and don’t hate on me for saying it. No one needs to develop and support a narrative, and the baby powder can go back in the bathroom cabinet. Because this one is going to write itself.

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Well, Let Me Say This About That is an interesting twist on current events, as told by Dallas' finest and funniest Craig McCartney.

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