Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it’s what keeps this cat going. Seeing things I haven’t seen, but not like the top of Mount Everest or Mount Denali (look it up, if you don’t know). I want to see the first woman president of the United States, I want to see the coronation of a British monarch (although I’m a fan of Lilibet and she’s got years left in her), and I want to see Bradley Cooper win the Oscar. Or, I just want to see Bradley Cooper. Period.
We recently attended a baby shower for a male couple expecting a little girl in just over a month. Now, I’ve been to and co-hosted any number of baby showers over any number of years (don’t ask, just don’t ask), but this was a first for me. From the venue, I knew this wasn’t going to be your mother’s cake and punch shower, so I was expecting the bar to be raised. And open.
From the lovely pink daytime cocktail (deceptively lethal, even to an old pro like me) to the yummy cake with its covering in pink and white roses, everything was done beautifully. Shower games, the traditional opening of the gifts, the oohs and aahs as the booties and caps and nappies were displayed. All good.
One of the daddies thanked everyone for the support given during the journey of bringing this much wanted little girl into the world, providing a truly touching moment for a baby shower. The wonders of modern fertility and surrogacy options may have made her possible, but she will be born of the love of two dear people for each other and for all the possibilities that love can bring…for family, for fulfillment, and for life…without boundaries. Without limits. And always with love.
Now, before I get too maudlin, let’s get one thing clear. I know my gay peeps, and I know the chatter about children as accessories–children as being a rush to normalcy. (Fancy ones say “hetero-normative,” don’t they?) And, I get that. Kind of. But, I also believe and will continue to believe that my own parents had me because they were deeply in love, and they wanted me. Both of them. They wanted a boy, and they got me. Proving, once again, that nothing is ever quite what you expect—even when you’re straight.
So here’s the deal. Let’s all agree that there are loving gay, lesbian, and straight couples who are deeply committed to each other and to having and rearing children, creating families, and bringing up the next generation, while there are loving gay, lesbian, and straight couples who do not wish to do this. And there are wonderful gay, lesbian, and straight people who are deeply committed to another person, and it doesn’t always work out. And, children may or may not have been involved. And, there are wonderful gay, lesbian, and straight people who go through life single, attending baby showers and wedding ceremonies, and going off to pool parties with hot boys and sexy babes a generation younger than themselves. And, if you didn’t include trans folks and bi folks when you imagined the above wonderful folks, do that now. You’ll get even more combinations. Beautiful.
So you see, we’re not talking about being “hetero-normative.” We’re not talking about being gay or straight or somewhere in between. We are talking about being human. Which is what we’ve been fighting for all along, isn’t it?