It seemed possible that being a gay wedding consultant might be the next big thing, but I am now convinced that being a gay marriage counselor may be bigger. Here are some issues that have hit my radar since we last talked. Honestly, I don’t have to make up this stuff.
To nup or to pre-nup…moment of truth time, folks. If you’re marrying for anything other than love, then you shouldn’t be offended if he requires a pre-nup…just make the best deal possible. If you’re marrying for love and he really does have a lot more money than you, you’re in a hard place. I firmly believe family assets should stay in the family…so making sure that happens via pre-nup is appropriate. (Bear in mind that having children together changes the calculation.) Trying to prevent you from participating fully in asset accumulation inside the marriage because he makes more money…not so much. And good luck…you’re going to need it.
What if you’re a long term couple and you want to get married and he doesn’t? Oh, my…what is this about? Money? Control? Sex? Your family? All of the above? You better figure it out, particularly if this attitude from your boyfriend (he did just get demoted) was a surprise. What you do next should depend on what you’re losing and what you’re gaining from the limited relationship. Bless your heart.
What about the husband who just doesn’t know how to buy the right gift? Honey, really? Let’s bring this to cases…I believe gifts should come with an appraisal, while my husband believes they should come with a warranty. So, agree on the amount and go buy what you want, bring it home, and let him wrap it. If you insist that you want to be surprised with your gifts, you will be. That big box at Christmas that you just know holds a full length mink will turn out to be holding a dual control electric blanket. You’ll get disappointment for Christmas and an anecdote you can use for the rest of your married life—but the mink won’t come until later. Been there, done that, got the blanket.
Last question…does the family of the bottom have to pay for the wedding? No, but if it is that obvious who the bottom is, the family should pay for the wedding dress.